This morning while I was at the gym I was thinking about how I crave certain feelings. I love the way I feel after that first cup of coffee in the mornings. I love the way I feel when I run because there really is a runner’s high. I love how I feel when I get a love note or a surprise from my husband. I love when one of my children do something to make me feel special. I love feelings I get from good music. I love the sunshine, being outside, and how that feels so much better than an icky cold and cloudy day. Even though sometimes those kind of days feel good when you want to have a pajama day. What about the feeling you get when your taste buds are eating a big piece of chocolate cake or some ice cream? Some people love feeling high after drinking alcohol or the puff of a cigarette or doing drugs. Some have sexual tendencies that give euphoric feelings. Before I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and medicated I loved the feeling of being very manic. I was so hyper and thought I had enough energy to take on anything. That feeling of mania led me on a fasting mission because I felt I would be closer to God. That’s what put me in the hospital. I totally got off subject there but thought I would throw that in because of those “feelings.” Anyway, feelings are so easy to chase after. Our bodies just want to feel something good. Well, I’m learning as I age that I really want to “feel good” so I do things to help that. Like, exercise and eat food that doesn’t make me feel like a slug. But, no matter how hard I try I think there’s going to be days where I just don’t “feel” good. Because we won’t always feel great or good…And those are the days where I have to really just have faith. It reminds me of a story about Jesus when he was in a boat sleeping. He was traveling with some guys and a storm came. They started “feeling” really afraid. They were frantic and told Jesus about it and pretty much asked him why he didn’t care. Jesus immediately calmed the storm and asked them about their faith. That’s the example that came to my mind today when I thought about faith over feelings. So when I’m not “feeling” good I have to just have FAITH especially on those days… just my thoughts today..
Published by sharonschwartz2018
I am a work in progress. I struggle with depression and Bipolar Disorder, but it does not define me. I am a child of the Most High God and I hope my story and words can inspire someone. I have beautiful days and dark days so I write about them. I am married to a great man of 20 years and have 3 amazing children. I have 4 spoiled animals 3 cats and a dog. I enjoy spending time with my family, running, nature, volunteering and helping with the elderly, watching movies, the beach, writing poetry, etc... View all posts by sharonschwartz2018