The Depression Mask

IMG_1710.PNGYou see this big smile that’s on my face
Cause my depression doesn’t leave its trace
All these thoughts up in my head
Unworthy shouts and thoughts of dread
They tell me I’m not good enough I should be dead
Do you pass me by and dare to ask
What’s behind my depression mask
I know you don’t see my broken heart
I hide it well so I won’t fall apart
How I need to share my soul the weariness you’ll never know
The cross I bear it needs some grace some love to share
Those words I need you may have for me
For healing to end my suffering
Help my mind to end its strife
Your words could even save my life
Understand me and let me be…0
let me trust you enough so you can see
Can you spare some empathy?
I’m like you no different it’s true
You need me and I need you
Can you quit playing that role you play
Long enough to say
I’m not alone and you are there
Don’t just give me a passing glare
I was put in your path for a reason whether I’m here for long or just a season
It’s your opportunity don’t let it pass you by
There is a reason and a why
So do you dare to truly ask what’s behind my depression mask?

Poem by: Sharon Schwartz

This is my personal experience with depression. I always tried to wear a smile on my face for fear of what people would think if they knew the real me. I felt so unworthy. Depression does that to a person. I am in recovery right now and have learned to practice self-care and compassion with myself. I try to share my struggles and victories of my experience with mental illness. I hope to shed light on all of the Warrior souls out there that suffer in silence. They have been a victim of some kind of abuse that has taken their voice. Whether that abuse was by a parent, a person, religion, etc… or they just have a genetic component of mental illness. They live in defeat and feel like they don’t have the freedom or right to express themselves. It has been a horrendous and hard road for me, but by the grace of God I am still here. I take my meds religiously and I have found ways to keep negative thoughts at bay MOST of the time. My smile is genuine now 😊 I no longer have suicidal tendencies and am still learning to embrace my mood swings. Bipolar Disorder can be tamed with treatment, but the roller coaster still lies dormant and can be awoken at anytime. I have good days and bad just like a “normal” person or should I say someone who doesn’t have the extremes of Bipolar. Anyway, the more I hear about suicides the more I want to practice kindness. Everyday we pass by people and don’t know their stories. Sometimes we pass by the same person hourly, daily, weekly and get a small “glimpse “of their story. What part do we play in their lives? Are we reaching out enough? Are we encouraging or discouraging? Do we take the time to get to know someone? Do we show concern without judging or begrudging? But most of all..do we dare to ask because we NEVER KNOW who hides behind the depression mask.

 

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