The Suicide Epidemic

IMG_1727Why a few days ago could I seem so strong?!
Now its as if that strength doesn’t belong…
To me…because I’m weak and my pain is here again
It showed up out of nowhere the anguish in my brain
My body begins to shake… like I am in an earthquake
Where did that trigger come from I’m trying to escape have I fell into its trap
I have been strong for so long not taking any of its crap
Usually when I feel such gloom come creeping in
I go for a run and those thoughts they don’t win
They scream at me telling me you aren’t worth it you need to die!!
My heart calls back with its wrenching cry
Stay!! don’t leave those people that you love behind
And I just couldn’t get them out of my mind
I heard of a guy this week who couldn’t bear
And his life he couldn’t spare
So those thoughts of mine grew stronger causing such grief
I ran and i ran but I found no relief
Thinking about him my heart breaking into
Could I just do the same I don’t know what to do
As I ran I saw a bridge it had come into sight
Could I fling myself over it and it took all my might
As I ran over it… the pain washing… pulling at me
Engulfing me.. as if I wasn’t free and didn’t need to be
I fought and I fought I ran and I ran
It took forever to cross the bridge that felt like quicksand
I did it!! I made it to the other side my body still trembling from that frightful run 🏃🏻‍♀️ride
Gasping for air I could hardly breathe
Suffocating despair oh how you tried to deceive..
Me… into believing I needed to escape with you
You told me I wasn’t worth it but I know its not true
You can try and try but no matter what you say
I proved you all wrong I lived through another day!! As I was driving home..after that relentless blow….way up in the sky stood an amazing rainbow…the sign of a promise I felt my heart mend…I’m thankful today that my life didn’t end…

Poem by: Sharon Schwartz

 

 

 

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One thought on “The Suicide Epidemic

  1. Oh my. Very deep. I’m sorry to hear about the guy who ended his life, and how that impacted upon your own suicidal thoughts. You did well to keep running and not allow your mind to trick you into playing games with those thoughts.

    When I engage with those thoughts and argue with them (play games – I say that because it’s like a seesaw, back and forth), when I argue I’m that much closer to acting on them. I rarely use thought blocking techniques, but I have to at times like that, if it is at all possible.

    Like

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