Ugh and anger 😑😡

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So….today I am going to vent. Do you ever just have that one person in your life that just grinds your gears?! I have a relative that does just that. I know that holding on to wounds does nothing, but hurt me. I guess it would be easier to move forward if she hadn’t been so judgemental towards me for years. Even though she is guilty of things that she’s judged me for she has been blind to the err of her ways.  It’s such drama and in light of the big picture or eternity it is so minor. It’s like a tiny speck in a vast universe really… Is it the fact of sometimes you just have to let it go and allow them to be right?Just give them the pleasure of thinking you are trash.  I’m not that person anymore that even does those things in the past. I never was trash just made some not so good choices.  However, when I see her she has the same perception of me as she has so often judged me. I know this probably sounds immature, but I also know that no one is free from these kinds of feelings. We all have them or have had them in the past. It’s just hard. I have had to keep this person at arm’s length, but for some reason she feels she has to bond with my kids now. I don’t understand that because she doesn’t try to bond with her own children. I also feel betrayed by one of them because she’s older and she knows the pain this relative is/has caused me and bonds back. It just HURTS MY HEART. Anyway, they say whatever or whoever angers you also controls you. I’m just trying to find strength with this “thorn in my flesh” I will call her. It’s in my head today and for some reason continues to find it’s way back daily for the past couple of weeks. I moved 6 1/2 hours away from this person but was lured back to her with my most recent visit to where I moved from. The reason being is her circumstances are really bad right now and I heard about it and immediately felt “naive” compassion I guess. When I reached out to her I got the same response as always her bringing up the past. I guess most of my anger is at myself for wasting my time visiting her and not someone that could’ve brought joy and love to my life. I get mad at myself for feeling like I have no power over these feelings when I know that 95% of the time I have victory over this. It is a lesson learned on my end for sure not to fall into that trap again because life was going so great..then a big black pit…I just feel personally attacked, but this too shall pass. I’m on my way to the gym to relieve this stress and reboot my thoughts. Wish me blessings and strength 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️


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